IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SUNNY MORNING IN BRENTWOOD. THEY WERE SETTING ACROSS FROM EACH OTHER AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE IN THE BACKYARD SUN ROOM.
ARNOLD WAS WEARING SUN GLASSES AND EATING HIS MAPLE FLAVORED OATMEAL (KNOWN AS MAPO) AS HE READ A BREAKING NEWS ARTICLE ON THE LONG TERM EFFECTS THAT RESULT FROM THE USE OF STEROIDS. MARIA WAS IN HER WHITE SILK ROBE SIPPING HER BLACK ENGLISH TEA AND GAZING AT THE NEW TULIPS POPPING UP AROUND THE GUEST HOUSE FENCE.
“MADIA” ARNOLD SAID IN HIS OWN THICK SOUNDING ATTEMPT AT
SPEAKING THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. “DID YOU READ DIS? DEY ARE CLAMMING DAT MY DRUG WILL CAUSE PIMPLES ON DA SACK” “CAN YOU BELIEVE DIS?” “I DON’T HAVE NO PIMPLES ON DA SAK DO I MADIA?”
MARIA SLOWLY TURNED HER GAZE FROM THE BACK YARD TO ARNOLD.
“ARNOLD” SHE SAID, “THIS IS THE BREAKFAST TABLE, EVEN TEDDY WOULDN’T TALK ABOUT HIS GENITALS AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE”
“ I WOULDN’T KNOW ANYWAY” SHE SAID, “YOU HAVNT HAD THE LITTLE GUY OUT IN YEARS”
ARNOLD PRETENDED THAT HE DIDN’T HEAR HER AS HE TOOK A GULP
OF HIS ORANGE JUICE BUT MARIA NOTICED HE HAD TAKEN OFF HIS SUN GLASSES AND HIS EYES, NOW JUST TWO HORIZONTAL SLITS IN HIS FACE WERE STARING AT HER. SHE KNEW SHE HAD HIT A NERVE.
“ARNOLD”, MARIA SAID. “DID YOU SEE THE MAIDS CHILD PLAYING
IN THE POOL YESTERDAY?” “WHAT MAID?” ARNOLD MUTTERED. HE WAS BECOMING BORED WITH THIS CONVERSATION.
“YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT MAID”. SHE SAID “THE ONE YOU TRIED
TO LET GO TEN YEARS AGO. I JUST COULDN’T LET A PREGNANT LOYAL MAID GO AND THERE WAS JUST NO REASON TO DO IT”
“ANYWAY ARNOLD, EVERYTHING WORKED OUT JUST FINE. AS I WAS SAYING DID YOU SEE HER CHILD PLAYING IN THE POOL YESTERDAY”?
“NO” HE SAID AS HE NERVOUSLY PRETENDED TO READ HIS PAPER.
“WELL I DECLARE” SHE SAID. “I SWEAR THAT CHILD HAS BEEN WORKING OUT WITH YOUR WEIGHTS IN THE GYM ROOM” THAT KID HAS GUNS (BICEPS) THAT RIVAL YOURS. WHY IF I DIDN’T KNOW BETTER I WOULD THINK……………”
HER OWN COMMENT HAD STUNNED HER. ARNOLD KNEW WHAT WAS COMING NEXT. “ARNOLD YOU DIDN’T” SHE SAID.
ARNOLD DIDN’T RESPOND.
“ARNOLD I’M GOING TO SPEAK WITH THE MAID AND ASK HER FLAT OUT AND IF I FIND OUT THAT CHILD IS YOUR CHILD WELL I’M GOING TO….” ARNOLD INTERRUPTED HER. “LEAVE DA KID AND DA MAID ALONE. YAH DA KID IS MINE MADIA” “IT WASN’T MY FAULT MADIA. YOU KNOW HOW I WAS BACK DEN”
“ YOU KNOW I HAVNT TOUCHED ANODDER WOMAN SINCE DEN” “BULL” SHE SAID” “WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE WOMEN IN 2003 WHO CLAIMED YOU WERE……. WELL YOU NEVER REALLY TOLD ME WHAT THEY WERE CLAIMING BUT IT COST US A FORTUNE TO MAKE THEM GO AWAY”
“I TOLD YOU THEN THAT IF IT HAPPENED AGAIN I WAS GOING TO LEAVE YOU AND NOW THIS”.
“MADIA, CALM DOWN” HE SAID. “DOS WOMENS WERE JUST BIMBOS AND ITS NOT LIKE IT’S A NEW THING TO YOU ANYWAY” “I’M A SAINT COMPARED TO DA KENNEDYS”. “GO AHEAD AND DO WHAT YOU GODDA DO. I’M NOT GOVNOR OF CALEFORNYA ANY MORE ANYWAY AND ILL KEEP TAKING CARE OF DA MAID SO DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT ”
IT WAS GETTING CLOSE TO NOON. ARNOLD NOW JOINED MARIA GAZING AT THEIR TULIPS. MARIA WAS WONDERING HOW SHE WAS GOING TO SALVAGE HER DIGNITY AND ARNOLD WAS WONDERING IF HE COULD STILL PERFORM.
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